vent

Since I only have two followers, havent written in 2 years and no one reads this then I think it's safe to vent...since I am on a facebook hiatus this will have to actually be the spot to...well blog, ha
I hate a lie, but I equally hate not being told things, in my warped little soupy brain its the same thing.
Why do people think not telling you something but then randomly posted pics on some form of social media than pertain to said not tellin wont get notice?
I seriously need some sort of rational feelings therapy I know, I get angry easy sometimes, I get my feelings hurt when it doesnt make sense.
I worked so hard to protect people from things and then get screwed over with that very thing...and i do not even know what to do with all this...these feelings, these thoughts, these these life crackers that get thrown in my soup.
if you are still reading this you likely are confused as hell, sorry this is really just a way for me to get stupid crap off my chest in a somewhat public way
I think I need to start using this place better
Is there an iphone app to make this more convenient ?
Why are our children often the ones who hurt us the most? What's the deal with that?

Start of a food adventure

3:08 PM Friday June 14, 2013
 So today I hope to start our "food blog" aka our adventures with food.
Thanks to groupon, living social, half off depot, scout mob & eversave we've gotten more adventurous with food places.
Today we made a tiny booboo and let scoutmob find us a spot only to learn our awesome 50% off deal was for a different doc greens location, oh well.
He had the Cuban & a salad, which he proclaims to be flavorful & he likes it, would consider coming back, not impressed with the price per se.
I had the California chicken panini without icky mayo which the chicken was bland and there wasnt nearly enough avocado, but then there never is. I also had the broccoli cheese soup, it was good, but tasted like every other commercial broccoli cheese I've ever had. Overall doc greens gets ok but not a great in my book.
Happy eating!

Dave...this could only happen to me

So I haven't blogged in over a year, so much for doing this thing right. This is going to be the long version.
Dave...hmmm where do I begin, oh yea how about with how he got his name, or should i start with What he is? Ok I'll start with the what. Dave by all accounts and purposes here is a tapeworm. Yup you read that right, a tapeworm. I found discovered Dave Tuesday September 25th at about 4:35 PM. I'd like to note this is significant that I remember the time, I never remember that kind of crap, but that time so far is burned in my memory. So I find Dave, I panic, I throw up, I shower, I panic some more, I call my doc office and make an appointment for Wed @3:45...which I realize really means more like 5PM because that office completely SUCKS at getting you in in anything that resembles a timely manner. I then cry, give myself some darn good drugs and quaratine myself to the spare bedroom, knowing the last thing my wonderful husband needs is yet another issue. So I have roughly 24 hours to continue to freak out. My wonderful husband meets me at the dr office, to hold my hand and help me remember all my "symptoms" besides the lovely cup with "Dave" in it. My former dr has this really stupid rule that another person can't go back to the exam room till she's at least spoken to them first, so I tell the nurse "he's coming with me, unless she wants me to freak out". Well apparently she wanted a freak out cause I was told he couldn't go back, so after a few minutes of sitting in this stupid room alone for a few minutes and frantically texting my husband who is in the waiting room, I decide it's a good plan to take one of my panic pills. Let me add said pills calm me down yes, but they also make me a little slower, and a bit forgetful. The appointment doesn't go that well but  I leave there with the instructions to wait for a week for lab results, and to take the 3 pill course to kill off Dave. So, fast forward to Tuesday, I call and ask for lab results. The nurse starts reading off what sound like stupid blood results, ummm "no offense but I don't give a crap about what you are telling me" i tell her. Run down them and if any alarm you tell me otherwise I just freakin want the tapeworm results. "oh, hold on" I'm told. Well the outcome of that is "it was inconclusive". There's no way in hell what I handed over in that cup could not be conclusive. After repeated ridiculous conversations between myself doc office and or my husband and doc office I get fed up and call a new doctors office, which I am thrilled to announce actually took my care seriously, saw me the day I called, had me in and out of the office in less than 45 minutes, and vowed to find the answers to my questions. What a refreshing thought. His words on the way out the door which I love and cracked up were "your gonna wake up realize your schizophrenic and went to mexico" LOVE IT! ha ha
That appointment was Thursday at 4:15, the following morning my sweet sweet husband drops off some loverly specimens to them. Monday around noon I get a phone call with at least one part of the results, yup you read that right 3 days later, and 2 of those days were weekend. How flippin refreshing.
Oh crap I just realized I never said how Dave got his name. First we have a habit of naming things around here so it's a normal occurance. Melanie actually named him based on my giant loathing of 3 Dave's. Dave one is a douche bag who I'm in contact with often, I'll leave it at that. Second Dave is a customer at my store who hit me in the head once (it's a long story, just like all my stories). Third Dave is Dave Matthews, yup as in the band, I loathe that band, always have and well got more loathesome over the past 4 years. So that's his namesake.
Oh original Dave got thrown in the trash at the lab because he wasn't in an approved container.
I'm annoyed and peeved at my dr office and the lab both for this, but whatever.
I now await my results of you are Dave free...hopefully tomorrow I'll know the answer to that.

Changes at the Buck

So Micah runs off to some wilderness land in Utah, and leaves us with all these new kiddos at the Buck. Starting with lets see oh yeah Kevin...alas we'll simply call him token and move on cause I'm thinking I'll hold my tongue...yes for a change. Then comes along Jaimie...yes i spelled that right. She is ...well awesome and adorable. i like her a lot, yay. and lastly is Will, everyone thinks he's a cuter younger version of my BIL Brett, um aside from possibly looking a little like Brett used to i don't see it, and well I am holding out for what i think of him. Here's what I do know, I'd give the two dudes back in a mini heart beat to have Micahbear back :(

want to

I really want to hop on here and say "my life is wonderful and I'm so happy"
But alas, my usual isn't even wonderful, I'm a contented kinda gal, and I'm more than fine with that, usually. Right now though I'm downright "off" i'm sad i'm cranky, i'm losing it.
I've walked away from a customer in the drive thru just so i didn't choke the crap out of her.
I've cried just cause I can.
I've managed to lose yet another friend, I guess it's just cause I am who I am, and I can't be "trusted"
Now get past that whiney cranky Mechelle, and guess who you find a Lady who's got great Passion for things that most people don't give two craps about, a woman who'd die for those she loves, a woman who worries that those same people are going to be ok. A woman who has decent work ethic and wants to do what's right. A woman who's got skeletons (big ole giant ones) hiding in her closet, a woman who's convinced that the people who should just accept her as she is Never will
I miss my kid...i miss my friends.

I'm gonna be real honest about something i thought today and almost did it. I was gonna tell my husband I thought we should get a divorce, now before you panic, I love him, with all my heart, and I know he loves me with all his. My stupid thought process was this "i should stop being selfish and let the man live a normal happy life, I'm only dragging him behind with my ME moments" Of course the selfish side of me was like "girl you do not want him to go" For all the right and real reasons but also for the one I dare not to say outloud "I have never been alone" I was a child, then I had a child, then I got married. I've never been alone.
Yay for being a Debbie Downer, but whatever, it's my blog and I'll cry if I want to :)

My give a damns busted

it's odd that I, an avid country music HATER would use a country song title for MY title but indeed that's how I feel, my give a damns busted. Why do i say this, well I have been trying to be nice and sweet and "correct" with my blog posts, but what the hell for, no one reads them AND it's mine, I can do what i want. so why is my give a damn busted...quite frankly its because I over the past 2+ years spilled my inner soul to someone, and she was like family and she said the same of me, and my husband called us evil twins because we were besties...but alas something completely stupid happened and I've been left behind. To make matters worse knowing myself I'll either have to give up the church I was almost ready to call home for a while or maybe forever. You see I don't "act right" when it comes to feelings and people, and well hell at all... with everything.
I feel oddly lighter somehow, maybe I was just playing and I was never really her friend anyway, maybe I dreamed it all, whatever the reason, what's done is done, and now to be a good wife I have to learn to like Baseball...booyah let's go Braves!

It's Melanie's Fault

So I started a blog, wrote two, and then dropped it like a HOTCAKE! Trust me it's not like I haven't had things to say, I have, I think. But since I do 95% of my online stuff from my iphone it just seems weird to write my blogs from there, and the real reason I haven't let it out here is I have my weekly dates with the lovely Melanie. I absolutely love them. We talk about the book we are reading together Lineage of Grace, and we let all our feeling just spill out. It's awesome, and beautiful, and releasing, and comforting. I could go on and on about how great it is, but I won't.