So I haven't blogged in over a year, so much for doing this thing right. This is going to be the long version.
Dave...hmmm where do I begin, oh yea how about with how he got his name, or should i start with What he is? Ok I'll start with the what. Dave by all accounts and purposes here is a tapeworm. Yup you read that right, a tapeworm. I found discovered Dave Tuesday September 25th at about 4:35 PM. I'd like to note this is significant that I remember the time, I never remember that kind of crap, but that time so far is burned in my memory. So I find Dave, I panic, I throw up, I shower, I panic some more, I call my doc office and make an appointment for Wed @3:45...which I realize really means more like 5PM because that office completely SUCKS at getting you in in anything that resembles a timely manner. I then cry, give myself some darn good drugs and quaratine myself to the spare bedroom, knowing the last thing my wonderful husband needs is yet another issue. So I have roughly 24 hours to continue to freak out. My wonderful husband meets me at the dr office, to hold my hand and help me remember all my "symptoms" besides the lovely cup with "Dave" in it. My former dr has this really stupid rule that another person can't go back to the exam room till she's at least spoken to them first, so I tell the nurse "he's coming with me, unless she wants me to freak out". Well apparently she wanted a freak out cause I was told he couldn't go back, so after a few minutes of sitting in this stupid room alone for a few minutes and frantically texting my husband who is in the waiting room, I decide it's a good plan to take one of my panic pills. Let me add said pills calm me down yes, but they also make me a little slower, and a bit forgetful. The appointment doesn't go that well but I leave there with the instructions to wait for a week for lab results, and to take the 3 pill course to kill off Dave. So, fast forward to Tuesday, I call and ask for lab results. The nurse starts reading off what sound like stupid blood results, ummm "no offense but I don't give a crap about what you are telling me" i tell her. Run down them and if any alarm you tell me otherwise I just freakin want the tapeworm results. "oh, hold on" I'm told. Well the outcome of that is "it was inconclusive". There's no way in hell what I handed over in that cup could not be conclusive. After repeated ridiculous conversations between myself doc office and or my husband and doc office I get fed up and call a new doctors office, which I am thrilled to announce actually took my care seriously, saw me the day I called, had me in and out of the office in less than 45 minutes, and vowed to find the answers to my questions. What a refreshing thought. His words on the way out the door which I love and cracked up were "your gonna wake up realize your schizophrenic and went to mexico" LOVE IT! ha ha
That appointment was Thursday at 4:15, the following morning my sweet sweet husband drops off some loverly specimens to them. Monday around noon I get a phone call with at least one part of the results, yup you read that right 3 days later, and 2 of those days were weekend. How flippin refreshing.
Oh crap I just realized I never said how Dave got his name. First we have a habit of naming things around here so it's a normal occurance. Melanie actually named him based on my giant loathing of 3 Dave's. Dave one is a douche bag who I'm in contact with often, I'll leave it at that. Second Dave is a customer at my store who hit me in the head once (it's a long story, just like all my stories). Third Dave is Dave Matthews, yup as in the band, I loathe that band, always have and well got more loathesome over the past 4 years. So that's his namesake.
Oh original Dave got thrown in the trash at the lab because he wasn't in an approved container.
I'm annoyed and peeved at my dr office and the lab both for this, but whatever.
I now await my results of you are Dave free...hopefully tomorrow I'll know the answer to that.
